I'm not talking personally to me. I have made myself a promise that I would not write about MIL personally, anymore. If I did, I think I did but I don't remember. I probably did. I will go scream at the hilltops, throw rocks at nothing, cry to my own mother and find other ways to deal. No blogger.
But what I am suppose to do, when my MIL is a bad person. Morally? Talking to my husband is barking up the wrong tree. I also, have enough disagreements with her post-Luca. Yes, well the mommy in me doesn't let my MIL do stupid things with my baby. Oh, the stories I have. Sorry can't. I am a tease.
Anyway, I will tell you the issue.
We were walking in the market by ourselves. To begin with, I really don't pay attention to people strange or normal. Everything is normal, except when I see someone sick or in an type of emergency. Yes, like someone passed out in the street from drinking too much, everyone seems to ignore this person here. It sends off bells and whistles. Why would you leave a drunk passed out in the street? Or the time I was at the bank and notified them of a mentally ill man dancing with a cart half naked in the middle of a downtown street which people drive crazy. When I told them to get the police, they thought I was crazy. Then when I found the police myself they informed me it's not their PROBLEM. Those things aren't normal.
So we are walking and two gay guys are walking past us. They looked a little emo to me. But nothing that different.
MIL: NINA! COME HERE! OMG! NINA! NINA! LOOK at THEM! WOW! WOW! OMG LOOK!
It goes on but this is enough to make my point.
I was walking a head of her. bitting my front lip right off from embarrassment and angry. REAllY! Ok, two gay guys. Wow, like we have NEVER since that before. I didn't respond and pretended it never happened. HOW Embarrassing to be with someone who treats other people like that!!!! It's stuff I promised myself no more, after I cut ties off to people like that in my life. But I was going to tell her something, about how if she talks like that in front of my son again......
So where do I now draw the line with morals. INSIDE OF HER BRAIN It's not ok to be racist because her family is black. But it's ok to call people out on the street and make them feel unwelcomed and unsafe in their probably birth city because of their sexual identity or actually appearance of that (we don't know what they were actually maybe they were just emo)?
How how do I live this and not let this affect my son's thinking? threaten her relationship with him, or in front of her call her basically wrong and explain why to Luca. I guess I could do it in English. I just think those things won't do. Avoid her, trust me I think I am already doing THAT.
There is no changing her. I already see raising Luca to be veggie being an issue, my attachment parenting is an issue, my morals are now an issue. It's like everything is an issue. I have no peace and she is an ass. MY MOM has issues too, like a lot with poverty and other cultures. But I am not afraid to explain to Luca why and how she is wrong. AND to call her on it!
It's 2012 and are going/ARE so backwards socially compared to other histories!
But my oh my the things you do for love! I really didn't have the heart for another fight about his mother's anti-gay behavior/beliefs.
But what I am suppose to do, when my MIL is a bad person. Morally? Talking to my husband is barking up the wrong tree. I also, have enough disagreements with her post-Luca. Yes, well the mommy in me doesn't let my MIL do stupid things with my baby. Oh, the stories I have. Sorry can't. I am a tease.
Anyway, I will tell you the issue.
We were walking in the market by ourselves. To begin with, I really don't pay attention to people strange or normal. Everything is normal, except when I see someone sick or in an type of emergency. Yes, like someone passed out in the street from drinking too much, everyone seems to ignore this person here. It sends off bells and whistles. Why would you leave a drunk passed out in the street? Or the time I was at the bank and notified them of a mentally ill man dancing with a cart half naked in the middle of a downtown street which people drive crazy. When I told them to get the police, they thought I was crazy. Then when I found the police myself they informed me it's not their PROBLEM. Those things aren't normal.
So we are walking and two gay guys are walking past us. They looked a little emo to me. But nothing that different.
MIL: NINA! COME HERE! OMG! NINA! NINA! LOOK at THEM! WOW! WOW! OMG LOOK!
It goes on but this is enough to make my point.
I was walking a head of her. bitting my front lip right off from embarrassment and angry. REAllY! Ok, two gay guys. Wow, like we have NEVER since that before. I didn't respond and pretended it never happened. HOW Embarrassing to be with someone who treats other people like that!!!! It's stuff I promised myself no more, after I cut ties off to people like that in my life. But I was going to tell her something, about how if she talks like that in front of my son again......
So where do I now draw the line with morals. INSIDE OF HER BRAIN It's not ok to be racist because her family is black. But it's ok to call people out on the street and make them feel unwelcomed and unsafe in their probably birth city because of their sexual identity or actually appearance of that (we don't know what they were actually maybe they were just emo)?
How how do I live this and not let this affect my son's thinking? threaten her relationship with him, or in front of her call her basically wrong and explain why to Luca. I guess I could do it in English. I just think those things won't do. Avoid her, trust me I think I am already doing THAT.
There is no changing her. I already see raising Luca to be veggie being an issue, my attachment parenting is an issue, my morals are now an issue. It's like everything is an issue. I have no peace and she is an ass. MY MOM has issues too, like a lot with poverty and other cultures. But I am not afraid to explain to Luca why and how she is wrong. AND to call her on it!
It's 2012 and are going/ARE so backwards socially compared to other histories!
But my oh my the things you do for love! I really didn't have the heart for another fight about his mother's anti-gay behavior/beliefs.
I'm sad that my husband doesn't have a mother or grandmother anymore (they have both passed; it was his grandma who mostly raised him), but I guess it saves me from having a Brazilian MIL. I've only heard of difficulties that North American women have and I'm glad not to have to deal with that issue.
ReplyDeleteReally, lots of countries DIL and MIL have issues. I think it's more case by case and the background of the person. My MIL believes her son should be married to her, not me. With that kind of person, it's never easy.
DeleteYou are a major tease can't you change the names. I am dying to see the differences in Brazilian mothers to American. I know its not fair because we have the advantage education wise BUT.......... your creating a teaser situation please give me something :)
ReplyDeleteI wish. well, She has fought with my SIL physically with Luca, one had one and the other had the other. Ironically, my SIL was fighting with her mother because her MIL was holding her son. I had to break them up and tell that was a no go. Really? He had just gotten out of hospital. argh.
Delete